Hope for the New Year

As we welcome in 2021 let us reflect on 2020. 2020 saw the transgender and gender nonconforming community reach levels of discrimination and hate more than in previous years. Couple that with a year that seen Covid-19 plague the world and shake up our normal routines, redefining most of our daily lives. Social gatherings were pretty much stopped in the err of caution. That meant many of us were separated from our support networks while some of us were stuck in mentally and sometimes physically unstable situations. Yet behind every dark cloud there is a silver lining. With the Supreme Court win in June, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the 1964 Civil Rights Act protects gay, lesbian, and transgender employees from discrimination based on sex. We survived a year that will go down in history books in more ways than one.

As we head into this New Year, we approach it with apprehension, not knowing what the future holds for us. For many this will be a year of new beginnings, maybe coming out to your loved ones. Maybe starting a new job or moving to a new home. While the pandemic may still be plaguing the world, start 2021 with a sense of hope. Very soon we while have a new president that promises to be compassionate to the LGBTQ community. Let's build on that hope. I was never one for making New Year resolutions. I never bought into the New Year/New Me mentality. Why do we have to wait until a new year comes around to make changes? After all, any lifestyle change can be done at any time, correct?

This year is probably a little different though. This year see's the culmination of 4 years of hate and bigotry finally start the healing process and now, more than ever, would be the perfect time to reflect upon oneself and the positive changes you wish to enact in your life. And to do that, you will have to act on those hopes and dreams you wish to enact in your life. Nothing will come to us if we just sit idly by waiting for things to happen, believe me, I've tried, and it just doesn't work.

For me, as I continue on the path to learning who I am as a woman, who Lillie really is, it has been a bumpy road of ups and downs. I have struggled to learn healthy coping mechanisms instead of unhealthy coping mechanisms. I have struggled with self-care, which includes mental self-care and not letting others take up my head space. At the beginning of the month I had an experience getting my car inspected and upon paying for the service the man behind the counter said "Thank you sir, I mean ma'am, (then kind of chuckles and says) or whatever. I've been used to saying Sir all day." I didn't say anything. I didn't point out the 2 customers in front of me were women as well. The only difference between them and I being I am a trans woman and I am taller, and my voice is deeper. I won't lie though, it hurt. I just went to my car and cried before composing myself and going home. So, was that about my failings in passing as a woman? Did my presentation fail?

I couldn't tell you. What I can tell you is as much as it hurts to be treated that way, to be misgendered, we have to remember that we aren't the problem. They are. What it did teach me though was that I should have politely corrected him as my therapist would suggest I do. Getting angry and correcting someone or having an outburst really doesn't solve anything. Yet to be polite and simply say 'she please or her please' will yield better results and in time you would get better at standing up for yourself. So that is one of my habits I wish to change, doing better about standing up for myself.

Other habits would be quitting smoking, that falls under a broader goal of being the best version of me that I can be. By eating better, exercising more and quitting smoking I hope to learn self-discipline in the process. The ultimate goal in all this is to hopefully join a local roller derby team whenever that starts back up after Covid. I always loved roller skating and wished we had roller derby here when I was growing up, even if I was living as a boy back then. But now? All that's changed. I grew up to be the woman I always dreamed of. And that in itself proves that if one can find the strength to make that kind of change in their lives than anything is possible. Dreams do come true 💜

So, what are some of your goals for the coming year? What are some of your lifestyle changes you would like to make in the coming months, both short term and long term. I'd love to help you achieve your goals on becoming the best version of you possible. And as always, reach out if you ever need an ear. You can find me on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/Lillith.Raine.Campos or via email at gpc45@hotmail.com Now go out there and help make the world a better place.

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